Hi,

 

We’re in a bad place now. Everything seems to have gone to shit. It may seem like the best and only decision to end it all. 

 

Maybe it’s hard for you to believe, but we will get through this. We’ve been through a lot already. So much heartbreak and let down. It sometimes feels as though the pain is so bad that I can’t breathe and can’t think. 

 

I know you did it before with other sharp things. Penknives and all that. And everytime you cut, it just gave you this sense of relief. Like you understood the pain you felt, you could see it and understand it. And control it. And it took away from your so called invisible pain. 

 

But tonight was the deepest You cut. And i know you felt scared and tempted at the same time. Just a bit deeper and everything stops. No more pain. 

 

But if you follow that fear, you realise that despite the pain, there was a fear of what you would lose. You would have lost everything you’ve worked for and how far you’ve come. In a way, you’ve struggled so much growing up and work your way till this point. Are you really going to throw it all away? 

 

I’m glad you put the knife down in the end and saw the doctor. Because the future is great. There is still tough times, but overall, it makes everything worth it. It makes your choice that night worth it. Sometimes it’s still hard and you’ll be tempted to hurt yourself again, but you’ll discover that there’s always something worth sticking around for. 

 

Hang in there. It’s a rough ride and there’s a lot of ups and downs, but you’ll make it. You’re worth a lot to many people out there.

 

Love,

Your future you