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Just One More Day / Letter 02

I was diagnosed with Double Depression and Major Depression in 2017. Life back he seemed to went into total darkness. People around judged me for my behaviour and my emotions i was feeling back then. All I've gotten was being penalised for everything that i had or had not done. Nobody tried to understand why. Nobody bothered to listen. I was being labeled as 'attitude'.

During that period, i was married with a 4 year old child. My husband lost his job and i felt that i was a burden to him. He has to take care of me and our child. I wanted to be well but i just couldn't do it. I thought if i were no longer around, he could focus on our child and raise her up. I wrote goodbye letters for him and our child, hoping they could understand my reasons for leaving them.

On that very day, my child came to the room and gave me a big hug. She laid in my arms for the longest time. That moment, i felt like she knew that i was gonna leave her. My tears just flowed. I can't imagine the sadness and pain she would experience if i were gone. 

It suddenly struck me that she needed me. She was all the reasons i needed to stay alive for just one more day. That's how, i am still living on for just one more day for the people i love and love me. 

To those who are struggling right now, i hope you will also find your reasons to stay for just one more day. It's really worth it!

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